Unfamiliar Growth
28 11 2008
I believe every single thing, big or small, happens for a reason. I’m not saying this just so that we can all go micro-analyze every aspect of our lives and go crazy. In fact, if we trust life enough to bring us to where we need to be, at any given moment, we’d be going with the flow and there’s really no need to analyze anything much when you’re going with the flow. Of course while we ride the waves, we still need to work to keep our balance and stay afloat, but we’ll “usually” end up in a pretty decent place, some way or another. Yes?
I see some people shaking their heads. Right. So what do we do when “unusually” happens and we realize we’re drifting off tangent into unknown territory? We’ve seen quite a bit of that happening lately, with all that’s going awry with the economy.
I was reading a very inspiring article just the other day on Forbes.com - it was an interview with Samuel Palmisano, Chairman and CEO of IBM Corporation. Amidst the economic turmoil, Sam remains optimistic (this seems to be a trait of hugely successful people) and points out two exciting things that he sees:
- getting people to change is easier in troubled times;
- there’s a lot of growth happening in the world - it is just happening in unfamiliar places.
Sam also said, “As a leader, you have the mandate for change … you could create the future, or defend the past.” It is obvious that he chose the former for his company. The positive implications were not just used on his company, but also on his country. I believe the same implications can be used on me and you, as individuals.
When life throws us outside of our comfort zone and into the unknown - when we lose our jobs, end a relationship or discover a tumor in our body - what does this mean and why? Sure, we can get angry, bitter, sad, afraid, we can blame it all on the world and hope that someone will come and lick the wounds of our egos, but will that change things for the better? I’ve heard some people lament about how their friends were lucky to have escaped company retrenchments, and they felt hurt that they had to be “sacrificed” instead. This is when I feel that change happens when it needs to happen. Sometimes it happens when you least expect it. Sometimes it happens as a collective exercise, or it just happens to you exclusively. Whatever it is, change happens to everyone - just not at the same time, and only when it’s needed. Change happens because it is time for us to learn something new. It is time for us to grow and expand into something better. The process may be unfamiliar and scary, but it’s usually with a good agenda.
There are countless stories out there of people who had been through some serious adversities, but came out of them even better than before. Perhaps the man who was making a million dollars a year had to lose his job for him to realize that he had not paid enough attention to his family for the past five years - that he never knew what his son’s favorite color was, or that his wife was seeing someone else for the past three years behind his back because he had neglected her. And that despite his wealth, he had no real friends to turn to when crisis hit. It is time for this man to shift his focus into areas that have been missing or are incomplete. It is time for this man to grow in areas where he is unfamiliar, so that he may learn to live a fuller life.
I hope that someday, everyone of us will be able to look back at some (if not all) of our life lessons and give thanks for the opportunity for growth. 
Blessings,
Irene
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Wow, the first commenter! It has been so long since your last post that I thought you had abandoned your blog altogether. I agree 100% with your post. Based on past experience, change has always had a positive effect on my life. Sometimes you don’t realize it until many years down the line but change strengthens you. Take my baby girl for example. She’s a handful and I have no recollection of what it is like to have a social life anymore, but the rewards are priceless!
Steve C @ MyWifeQuitHerJob.com´s last blog post … Despite The Downturn, I Feel Wealthier Than Ever
Great to see you back. I’m not a believer of the ‘everything happens for a reason’ mentality, maybe because I don’t want to think everything is pre-planned and I control my own destiny.
Change can be good, especially when it takes you through the hard times that make you stronger. More posts please
Cheers,
Glen
Glen Allsopp´s last blog post … Why I Sold PluginID (& Bought it Back)
I love the picture! Is that me?
I’ve been thinking a lot about the issue of judgment. Why are we so sure that losing a job or a relationship, etc. is bad? It is based on our learned values, not Universal truth. It is based on limited vision, the inability to see the possibilities beyond what is obvious.
I love the quote “you could create the future, or defend the past”.
Akemi - Yes to Me´s last blog post … My Gratitude Journal Online – Thanksgiving Edition #18
HI Irene: This reminds me of the speech Steve Jobs gave after he was fired from Apple (the company he created). He explained that at first he was very angry about it but it turned out to be one of the best things that have ever happened to him (he’s gone on to create other great projects he’s very proud of). It’s very hard to tell ourselves “this is for the best” when something that was not in our original plans happens to us, but we need to at least try
Marelisa´s last blog post … Productivity Tip: Think Small
I remember telling someone: I love change, because I realised very early in my life that since there’s nothing we can do to prevent it, we might as well learn to like it, and let it work for you instead of against you.
And yes, I also believe deeply everything happens for a reason, everybody has a purpose in our lives.
A few of my friends in the banking industry are being retrenched. They got the pink slip because they were backroom staff. Those on the front line managed to keep their jobs.
I consider it a wonderful opportunity for those who are retrenched to pick up some new skills, take a break or do some retraining. However, they don’t seem to see it that way. They are more worried about the fact that they may not find another job to replace their old one. Because of their worries, a break or vacation is off the cards for them! They would rather hang around to look for another job rightaway, which in my opinion is a bad time since no one is hiring.
Evelyn Lim´s last blog post … 7 Ways To Center Yourself In Gratitude
Hi Steve - yes it’s been a month since my last post.
Don’t worry, I may be slow but I have no intention of abandoning this blog - if I ever need to for whatever reason, I will make an announcement. Change does strengthen us doesn’t it? What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
Hi Glen - while I believe there are reasons behind everything that happens, I also believe in free will and these two can work beautifully together … I shall save this for another post.
Hi Akemi - gee, that girl in the picture does kinda look like you!
Yes you’re so right … so many people fail to see possibilities beyond what is obvious because we’ve been conditioned that way all our lives.
Hi Marelisa - oh yes, Steve Jobs is another good one. Yup, it’s so hard to tell ourselves to stay positive and look beyond when we’re stuck in quicksand!
We just have to keep reminding ourselves to keep trying and keep going, one step at a time.
Hi Winnie - good for you! I like what you said very much … let change work for you, not against you. Very cool!
Hi Evelyn - it can be hard for those whose lives have been impacted by sudden change.
Fear and a lack of faith can feed each other and cripple a person from thinking and acting positively. Hopefully it won’t take too long for them to snap out of the negativity and take steps to embrace the changes for their own betterment.
@Glen - like Irene, I believe we have free will, and that life is not pre-destined. However, also like Irene, I believe that life will keep giving you hints that perhaps your choices aren’t the best. You can chose to ignore the hints, or quite often you recognize the hints, but just aren’t ready to change yet, and you chose not to. The hints get less and less subtle until WHAMO you get hit over the head with the proverbial frying pan. At that point, you have to make a change. And one person’s WHAMO, might be another person’s subtle hint.
Forces of the Universe at work? Or simply the consequences of our actions? That could definitely be argued, and both sides of the debate would have really valid points. Personally, I think it is the two working together. Regardless, eventually, if we don’t take corrective action soon enough, we all hit that brick wall.
Urban Panther´s last blog post … The Pond Test
Hi Irene,
I like your post and totally agree with you that most of the time things that we go through that are the most difficult end up being hugely useful in retrospect. I think this is mostly because experiencing something you don’t want can help you get really clear and feel more powerfully about what you do want. And once you shift your focus to creating what you do want you harness all of that powerful desire you generated as fuel for your next creation. It is just a bit tricky initially to shift the focus from what you’re experiencing that you don’t like and hone in on what you do want, but I think having an appreciation of how difficult changes can serve as a catalyst for positive results really helps.
Adrianne´s last blog post … First, Love Where You Are Right Now: Part Two
Hi Irene,
I like that my life is preordained.
I also like that I can choose my response to this simple realization.
In being a witness to the darkness, I can choose to live in the light.
In being a witness to lack, I can choose to be full. In being a witness to hate, I can choose to love.
Free to be me,
Christopher
Hi Irene,
Unfamiliar growth - yes, I agree - sometimes it takes something that shakes us up to really get us growing again. To get us off the stagnant path we may have begun to follow - day in and day out. Adversity is a great time for growth. Thanks for the reminder…
Lance´s last blog post … Like a Thanksgiving Day Parade, Only Faster
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Hi Urban Panther - wow, that was beautifully articulated! I especially love that depiction of the proverbial frying pan going WHAMO.
Hi Adrianne - I really like what you said about harnessing our desires as fuel for our next creation. There is so much power within us that we can tap on to create an outcome. Rather than waste that power by resisting change and focusing on negativity, it would definitely help us to switch that around and channel that same power into something more productive and positive.
Hi Christopher - you know, I’m so very tempted to quote you and re-use those words for another post. You have an extraordinary gift of words! Time to start a blog and shine, my friend.
Hi Lance - you’re most welcome! I needed that reminder myself too. Life occasionally uses funny ways to wake us up … they may not always be nice, gentle nudges.
Cool post Irene.
I’d recently heard this cool talk on growth, change, and the unknown. In the unknown, all you will find is more of yourself. We could say that since we’re all one, of course you’re only going to find more of yourself in the unknown for that’s where the “rest” of you is. On a more seemingly pragmatic level, it seems that when we change and leap into the unknown, that’s where we find greater capacities to tap into our own supplies of love, kindness, love, freedom, trust, faith, surrender, abundance, confidence, and so on. It’s by leaping into change, being excited about abiding in the mystery that we find even more of the magnificence of all life has to offer.
Ariel´s last blog post … Abraham-Hicks Discusses Desire
Hi Ariel - I would have loved to attend that cool talk! I really can’t agree more. The tricky part for most people (including myself sometimes) is learning to be excited about change, about “abiding in the mystery” long enough without panicking!
Irene, lol… yeah, it’s a lot like getting over fear of the unknown or being scared of the dark, isn’t it?
Ariel´s last blog post … The Deeper Purpose Behind the Law of Attraction
Based on my experience, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. It’s natures way of saying “stop being so damn stubborn,” or “you need a change.” Unfortunately, only few people recognize the true value of change and these people are usually the ones that end up being successful financially, socially, emotionally, or spiritually.
chris´s last blog post … I Shall Return
Hi Chris - you had gone MIA for a while and got all of us worried! I’m glad to hear from you again.
It’s easy to take the little nudges in life when things get stagnant. It’s when the changes are big and sudden, that’s when we all go “Holy @#$%!”, hehehe. Recognizing the true value of change does take constant effort and awareness, but it’s definitely worth its while.